A little over a year ago I finally woke up. Woke up to the beauty, possibility and potential I have inside me to live a truly extraordinary life. It has been an amazing year, filled with lots of tears, laughter, smiles, frowns, and amazing memories. Three weeks ago I traveled abroad to Mexico on a journey of self discovery and exploration through Yoga. As Baron Baptiste, my Yoga mentor would say, “I put my life on a shelf for a week, and immersed myself in an experience that I cannot even begin to describe in words.” Stepping back into my life after my week journey in Mexico has been quite an interesting process. A couple things have showed up for me since I have been home. I noticed from the moment I got off the plane that it was not as “easy” as I thought it would be to integrate into my life the breakthroughs and new ways of being I discovered in Mexico. I have found myself judging my process back into “reality,” having this inner frustration as to why the stories or negative thoughts still show up. The second thing I have realized is the resistance that has been showing up on a daily basis in regards to my full integration back into my blogging. So as I woke up this morning I decided that I could continue living in Storyland, or I could take ownership for what is really going on underneath the surface. Here are some of the golden nuggets I have taken ownership for this morning:
1. I have had a story that as I continue on my journey of self discovery and personal growth that somehow I will arrive with the Golden Ticket From Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, and I will never have a negative or limiting thought again. WOW, even as I write this one, I realize how much story is intertwined in it. What I have come to realize through more self reflection this morning, and the advice of a wise friend is that I am on a journey, the journey of life, and the beauty of the journey is that there is no arrival time or gate. It is when I think I have arrived or have the answer that I set myself up for disappointment. Through this self awareness my new practice is letting go of the need to know or get it perfect, and to enjoy the ride and appreciate the wisdom that I continue to gain along the way. As I continue to live a more authentic and happy life my hope is to inspire others to do the same.
2. Secondly, I realized that my resistance to writing a new blog post was solely based on FEAR. Fear that I would not be able to convey the insights and experiences I had in Mexico in an inspiring and impactful way. As I was sharing this fear with a friend yesterday, he shared with me that when he got back from traveling no matter how hard he tried he was unable to write on paper exactly the experiences, sensations, and feelings he had experienced on his travels. This hit home for me, as I too came to the realization that I can share the stories with you of my experiences and breakthrough in Mexico, and you probably would even dig them, but actually having the same experience and feelings in your own body would be an unfair expectation for me to have, because you were not in Mexico with me :). Yet what I also realized is that doesn’t mean I can’t share insights and Big ideas from my week in Mexico with you. A quote I read yesterday sums this one up great for me as it says, “Maybe we evade fear by procrastinating. We hide our imperfections, and in the process miss the chance to share our best stuff.” So here is to sharing some of my “best stuff” with you over the weeks, months, and decades.
I share these insights with you not to bring you down, but rather to inspire you and bring you up. I want you to know that with all the awesomeness in my life (which I am truly grateful for), also comes the Fear, expectations, and self doubt. Yet, what I can share with you is that when those negative and limiting thoughts begin to creep up into my consciousness, I now know I always have a choice. I can choose to let it take over and define me. or just like the monster in my closet I can choose to look at it right in the face, acknowledge it, and say “I am done playing that game”. As I have begun to make more empowered decisions about the thoughts and ideas that I choose to let guide my actions and words, I have noticed a huge shift in how I interact with “obstacles” and limiting beliefs that do creep into my space.
One of my favorite insights is that we are all the same, no better or worse, just at different places and spaces on our journeys. As you move forward on your journeys and into the weekend take these insights with you. Know you are not alone on your journey. That as you continue to grow and experience life the “walls” so to speak will show up. Yet also remember that you always get to make an empowered choice when they do.
Breaking Through the Walls with You,