A new possibility for self-care: The shift from seeing yourself as an improvement project, to tending to your needs and wants

Hello beauty,

First, happy New Year sweet soul. It’s so nice to be back in a rhythm with clients and writing to you. Today I want to invite in a new possibility for you with self-care, as you’re starting your year.

I imagine at some point you’ve heard the catch phrase, “New year, new you! ”While I feel the opening of a new year is a beautiful opportunity to reflect—both on how we’re directing our energy and on the shifts we’d like to create—it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of opening to visions from an old story line of what’s lacking rather than enoughness and possibility.  From that place of whipping ourselves into shape or trying to fix whatever it is we imagine is wrong with us and our lives. And the truth is, in my experience this just doesn’t work and is not sustainable…

When we create visions from a place of scarcity—from trying to be “better” or by creating the habits we think we “should” have—we’re ultimately setting ourselves up in a trap. What if, instead, we started this year with the belief that no matter where we are right now, it’s totally okay?

Yes, this year, I’m inviting you to engage differently. To begin with the knowing that you are already perfect, whole and complete. And rather than taking on a bunch of resolutions that you imagine will get you to where you should be, I’m inviting you to take a look at something more foundational: your relationship to self-care. Self-care, meaning how you care for and tend to your Self, and your needs…. so you make choices that bring you further into alignment and ease with yourself, not further away from you.

When you really tune in… closing your eyes, taking a few deep breaths, and coming present to your heart, how do you want self-care to feel this year? What kind of relationship do you desire to have with yourself, and the care of you? 

If you’re drawing a blank, or not sure where to even begin… one place to start is by looking at a few practices you’ve been feeling called to begin… whether it’s adding in more movement, eating in a way that nourishes your whole-being, creating more space to slow down and just be, dance more, whatever that thing is for you. And ask yourself, “If I were already creating space for this action consistently and reliably, how would I feel?”

There’s no right answer here. Perhaps you hear “at peace,” or “joyful,” or “alive in my body.” Whatever it is, trust that. And now, I invite you to throw away your ideas of anything you should do to get that feeling and to ask… what are one or two simple things that will really support me in cultivating that feeling day in and day out?

Once you’re clear on how you’d like your relationship to self and self-care to feel, create small, easy, accessible steps that allow you to begin accessing that feeling. Create sustainable rhythms in your life that support the larger vision, rather than trying to do a head-to-toe overhaul of the way you’ve been living. You can always recommit, and it doesn’t have to be a straight line. 

This is the year you get to reclaim self care as something sacred. For you. Not as something you go through the motions of to prove to the world that you’re okay or worthy.

What’s real and alive for you doesn’t have to look like anybody else’s version of self-care, and what you create doesn’t have to be massive in order to bring about a huge shift. And remember, while it is the start of a new year, we’re also still in the phase of winter…a time when, by nature, we may still need stillness, reflection, and a softening and letting go of what’s not working before we spring into action, so be easy with you.

I look forward to hearing your journey with this, and would love to hear what comes through for you as you’re exploring your relationship to self-care from this new perspective.

With love,