What I’m about to share is deeply personal. I haven’t shared this publicly until now, as I needed to hold it close to my heart until it had moved through my body and integrated within me. It also serves as a powerful example of this work, how being held myself has deepened the way I hold space through somatic healing for women.
As this year winds down, it feels important to share, both as an honoring of my own journey and in the hope that it may inspire you with what is possible when we allow ourselves to be held, guided, and willing to meet some of our deeper fears. The liberation, ease, and connection that can emerge through this kind of willingness is something I now feel even more deeply in my bones.
You may not directly resonate with my experience, but perhaps something in this story speaks to what is ready to be tended to and loved within yourself.
Some details will always remain personal, yet my hope is that something here awakens a quiet knowing within you, an invitation toward what may be ready to open in your own life.
Winter As Medicine
In the Northern Hemisphere, this is the season of turning toward the darkness and the stillness. A time of remembering that winter is not a mistake, but a medicine.
In nature, everything breathes, sheds, rests, and is reborn. Trees do not rush their bareness. Seeds do not apologize for their dormancy. Winter is not something to fix or hurry through. It is part of the cycle that makes life possible.
And something in me has been in a quiet rebirth of its own. What this year gave me was a deeper understanding of strength. Not the kind that powers through or bypasses, the kind that stays.
Standing at a True Choice Point
There are moments in life when we find ourselves standing at a true choice point.
We can continue on as we have, doing what is familiar and manageable. And sometimes, that is enough.
And then there are moments when a door appears. A door we have sensed for a long time. One we may have turned away from before.
While my path has long been devoted to walking through thresholds of embodiment and inner work, this year I found myself standing before one I did not see coming. Something in me knew I could not turn away.
A Call I Didn’t Fully Understand
In January I felt a strong pull to travel to another part of Costa Rica. I did not know how I would make it work, but I trusted the call and went.
While there, I participated in a New Year ceremony, one that opened something far deeper than I anticipated.
As the ceremony unfolded, intense fear moved through my body. Terror, really. I felt small, overwhelmed, and deeply afraid of what was trying to be revealed. Everything in me wanted to close the door, to stop the process.
But I didn’t.
Later that night, as I was drifting off to sleep, a clear inner voice came through: something happened to you when you were five years old.
The Body Leads the Way
I knew then that whatever was asking to be seen was not something I wanted or was able to face alone. I also knew I could not pretend it was not there.
Something was ready to be met, and I needed support to walk through that door with care and steadiness.
When I returned to Nosara, still shaken, a somatic practitioner entered my life through a series of quiet synchronicities. Not as a savior, but as someone who could walk alongside me.
I believe deeply that we do not need to force ourselves into healing. When it is time, what is ready for our attention will show up. And so we began working together gently and consistently.
Crossing the Threshold
Through this work, I came to understand that what lived behind that door was sexual trauma from childhood. Something my body had always known, even if my conscious mind did not hold the memory.
This is not something I share for pity or fixing. I share it because it is part of my truth. And because this work, when met with patience and integrity, has the power to change lives.
There was never anything wrong with me. Nothing broken. Nothing to fix.
Staying with fear, grief, sadness, and anger allowed something to reorganize inside me. I learned some of my deepest strength through fragility. I learned empowerment through moments when I did not know if I could get back up. I learned that real power is not found by rising above pain, but by staying present with it.
A Birthday Threshold
In December I celebrated my 42nd birthday and crossed a threshold I have been walking toward for years.
The past four years have held some of the biggest initiations of my life. Earth-shaking, dismantling, and asking me to let go of identities I once clung to. They stripped me bare in ways I did not know were possible and asked me to know my power from the inside out. The kind of power you touch when there is nothing left to grasp and you are asked to meet yourself completely.
There were moments I walked through the dark on faith alone, unsure of what would remain on the other side.
And then, this weekend, something inside me bloomed. Not metaphorically. Truly.
I celebrated by leading an Embodied Expression workshop, sharing dinner with a community I have prayed for, and sitting together in the heat of the Temazcal. In those moments, I felt the unmistakable sweetness after a long winter.
It felt like seeing a garden I had been tending in the dark finally begin to bloom.
Not Every Threshold Is About Trauma
I want to name this clearly. Not every threshold looks like trauma to be processed.
Sometimes the door we are standing in front of is an invitation to walk freer and more liberated. To live less edited and less restrained. To soften and feel more ease in the body. And to trust life and intuition more fully.
These thresholds ask us to go deeper, not to fix what is broken, but to liberate what has been held back or is ready to integrate.
This is the heart of somatic healing for women. Work that meets you exactly where you are and honors whatever phase you are in. Work that understands transformation unfolds in full arcs, not rushed moments.
Staying With What Wanted to Move
Throughout this year, with consistent support, I allowed myself to stay present with fear instead of bypassing it.
I let grief, sadness, and anger move through me in ways they never had before. I stayed when every instinct once would have told me to leave.
And in doing so, something remarkable happened.
I learned some of my deepest strength through fragility, empowerment through knowing what it felt like to be on the floor, unsure if I could get up. I learned what real power is, not by rising above pain, but by staying with it.
Shedding the Wooden Snake, Entering the Year of the Horse
As this year closes, I have been reflecting on the transition from the Year of the Wooden Snake into the Year of the Horse.
The Snake teaches us about shedding, patience, and deep internal work. It moves slowly and deliberately. It does not rush release before the body is ready.
This year required that kind of shedding from me. Through presence, safety, and being witnessed.
The Horse carries a different medicine. Movement, vitality, and forward momentum. But true Horse energy does not bypass. It emerges after integration. It moves because the body feels safe enough to move.
The new year is often framed as a time to rush forward. What I am learning instead is that it is a reminder to honor our own pace. To trust that movement comes when it is ready.
Being Held, Being Witnessed, Learning How to Hold Others
Being held and witnessed this year taught me how to hold others more deeply.
Not with urgency. Not with fixing. But with patience, presence, and trust in the body’s intelligence.
Support did not diminish my agency. It strengthened it. And that lived experience now informs how I walk with women through their own thresholds.
When a woman is met exactly where she is, something real begins to soften. The nervous system settles. What has been waiting can finally emerge.
Honoring the Full Arc of Transformation
I do not believe in rushing healing or forcing transformation. What I offer is somatic healing for women who are standing at a threshold, whatever that threshold may be. An ending, beginning and quiet becoming.
As we step into this new year, I am holding space through three pathways of support:
6 Month Mentorship
For the woman ready for sustained transformation, deeper truth, and spacious support. A place to shed, rebuild, root, and rise.
Ceremonial Sessions
For moments that need to be honored and integrated. These sessions offer intentional space to witness endings, beginnings, and initiations.
NEW 8 Week Threshold: A Sacred Passage
A focused container for women standing in a clear passageway where something is ending and something new is forming.
If something in this reflection resonates, if you sense a door in your own life asking to be met, I invite you to reach out.
You do not need to be further along. You do not need clarity yet. And you do not need to walk alone.
Sometimes the most powerful transformation begins not by pushing forward, but by allowing yourself to be held and witnessed exactly where you are. Book a free, no pressure discovery call to determine which pathway will best support the season you’re in.
With love,
