Hello sweet soul,
How often have you told yourself, “once I do something (fill in the blank), then I will (fill in the blank)”?
This is the infamous myth of arrival.
The one that puts our receiving, fulfillment, success, good enoughness in the future.
The metaphorical carrot we dangle over our heads that even when we reach it often is not something we give ourselves permission to fully relish in, and we keep pushing our gratification further and further into the future.
Now, yes, I am not discounting timing and the essential timing of allowing something to nurture and grow. This is different, though. I am talking about the idea that we can only exist in x, y, z experience once we get to the final arrival point.
Recently I’ve been going through a major phase shift in my life. I’ve been transforming for years; showing up doing great work. Yet, this moment in time isn’t just transformation or transition (which are both of value btw).
This is a moment of holy shit… leaving one chapter behind, the death of one way of being and context for me into another.
And while I feel myself present to my process, I also have noticed how I’ve held back on sharing things with you or even celebrating my journey because I am still in the thick of it.
So often, coaches, healers, personal development industry influencers show you the finished product. The final result. They show you the shiny “myth of arrival.” Now I am not knocking this, nor am I saying there aren’t peaks we do reach and healing we do experience that I do believe we need to share and celebrate. And, also, I do feel it’s important to embody what you’re sharing with others and not just claim you’re an expert right off the bat.
Yet to only show the shiny parts of the process and journey and also to feel like we can only share once we’re there or celebrate once we’ve “made it” I feel does a disservice to you, and also to me.
It sets us up thinking there’s one linear way to do life and discover who you are, and that you’re only valid when you’ve reached that infamous “arrival.”
The reality is that evolution is an ever evolving process. Nothing in nature stays the same. And we are nature. That doesn’t mean we aren’t able to come to sweet spots in life, and feel more steady and grounded in who we are, enjoying a life we love. We are SO able to create that!
But what it means is to expect that life is a linear formula really sets us up for getting stuck in a myth of arrival and prolonging our full feeling experience and value of Self into the future rather than owning our experience and value now.
I am in the in-between, continuing to make this phase shift. I have so much wealth of experience and embodied evolution, AND I am currently in the waters of change. It’s an opportunity for me to celebrate myself right now as I am, not just when I’ve crossed the “finish line”. And also to hopefully be a model for you of someone who is embodying the work and not just showing the shiny parts to drive home the point that there isn’t one shiny linear way to “get there.”
And it’s an opportunity to know I am valuable now, not when. This at least allows me to enjoy the ride a bit more, especially when things get turbulent.
So, I will bring it home to you. Where are you getting stuck in the myth of arrival? Where are you prolonging your enjoyment, value, or even vulnerable sharing into the metaphorical future? In what ways could you shift that and create a different way of experiencing yourself now? What’s one way you could enjoy, celebrate, or share your journey now? I’d love to hear, feel free to share with me!