Allowing for endings and new beginnings (a vulnerable update and some inspired thoughts to support you in times of endings)
Hello lovely,
I’m writing to you on this late Summer morning from Los Angeles (I’ll be back in SB soon). I’ve recently arrived home from a month-long adventure in Costa Rica, and I am still integrating the learnings, magic, and slower pace of living I received from being there.
I am looking forward to sharing more of my learnings with you soon and for now I wanted to share with you a big update and life change. I am sharing because one of my intentions with our connection here is to share some of my journey with you in hopes of both supporting and inspiring you in yours, and also knowing you’re not alone in the shedding and coming home to your Self process.
And so I want to share with you the ending of a 9-year cycle for me, and the power of ending something even when you love it or there isn’t anything wrong. And rather ending something because in your heart and intuition and soul you feel and know it’s time to complete in service of your evolution what comes next, and the ways you are meant to live this precious life and share that with others.
It’s long, and I wanted to bring you behind the scenes, so here we go…
It’s no secret at this point… this year has been a BIG one for me.
I’ve been learning the art of letting go, and trusting that in every ending there is a new beginning.
With that said, last September 2021, I started another cycle of my 12 month women’s circle group program. It’s a program I’ve been running for years now. I started leading women’s circles in 2013.
I distinctly remember laying in my bed shortly before our year cycle began, and having the thought, “this is the last year of this program in this form.”
Wait what?!
I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to have a different answer. And so I gave it space.
I thought, it’s probably just because I am grieving and going through a major loss and transition right now, I will get clarity soon.
And so I kept asking. Praying and trying to force clarity for months.
Thinking, oh, it’s just the Winter energy, once that’s over the answer will come.
Yet, what I soon began to realize as the months crept on is that the clarity was already there, well at least the first step, which was to have this past 12 month women’s group cycle (which just ended at the beginning of August this year) be the last group for now.
For some reason, that I am slowly starting to get little breadcrumbs of clarity on, my soul knew I needed to end this cycle before getting to know what’s next. I didn’t/don’t fully get to know until I released this form.
In society, we often have a hard time letting go. Or we feel this grip to know what’s on the other side before we let go because we’re afraid of the unknown (understandably so). Or we instantly fill the loss or gap because it’s hard to sit in the mystery and emptiness.
Yet, there is incredible value in allowing something to complete when it’s time and to not just fill it with something else or rush the process, and to really sit in the integration, release, and feelings that are necessary to go through as we do let things go.
There is a great resilience and trust that we learn, that I am learning on a more embodied level when I give space for the full completion without rushing the process or the next form.
What I know is I LOVE leading women’s circles and retreats.
I feel it’s part of why I am here on this planet.
And it’s not because I don’t love it or that there’s something wrong. And it wasn’t because there was anything wrong with the last circle… I LOVE these women so much. I feel so aligned with them and, in fact, it was one of the most amazing years I’ve ever guided.
It was a deeper knowing that after leading women’s circle programs for 9 years in a row in many forms and lengths without a break in between it was time to complete this cycle of creation, to allow space for integration, to hear even more clearly what comes next, and to create from this space not just doing it to do it.
Let me tell you, this is a HUGE act of trust. And my life is an embodiment of trust and listening and letting go right now. To really live even more what I teach, and that is to live from my essence. To let my life be an emergence. To trust the mystery. To not rush the form, and to trust that in the letting go, even if it’s not right away, new seeds will come. To not just create something to create it, to be an embodied leader of authenticity, and put my values and intuition over just doing it because it’s what I am supposed to do.
I feel in my heart of hearts that I will create new programs and retreats when the timing is aligned, as it is such a passion of mine and I feel grateful to be a channel of this work.
I’ve been taking the time this past month to be. To not rush to create something for the sake of creating it. To listen and let the inspiration naturally arise. To be with my frustration at times when it doesn’t come on my human linear timeline, and to really be in the energy of what is now.
I am immensely GRATEFUL to all the women who I have had the pleasure of serving through retreats and group programs over the past 9 years, truly it has been an honor, and you have given me the gift of getting to do what I love and I have also learned so much from each of you.
For the time being, I will continue to run my private practice (I have a few spaces open if you’re interested), while I allow the wisdom of what groups/retreats come next to come in its aligned timing… AND…
With all that said, I am starting to feel flickers of new ideas. New potentials. Meeting new people. It’s fascinating to me how that works . And so while I am not clear yet on what the new group programming is, my plan is to follow my inspiration, rather than my funneled biz plan for the time being, and to let my creative expression pave the way.
While I usually do longer term programs, because I do feel there’s a power in being together over an extended period of time…
I’m being called to create an in person small intimate circle at the end of the month, September 30th in Santa Barbara to support a rhythm for you for Fall.
I am keeping it small, 10 women, no frills, and really a sacred evening of sisterhood, connection, and nourishment to support you in creating a rhythm for the waning months of the year. In the next week I plan to share more details with you, and if you’re feeling called to learn more, respond back to this email and I’ll make sure to reach out to you first when I am ready with all the details.
If you’ve made it this far, I see you and I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to do my souls works both for myself and share it with others.
And I’ll leave you with this to ponder.
Ending something in love is a really sacred act. To end something when you know intuitively it’s not aligned any longer in that form, yet you still love it is almost harder sometimes. Yet, I feel it’s one of the most beautiful sacred acts we can do. Because it honors ourselves, our knowing, the other person/experience/people, and what essentially is more aligned moving forward.
Where in your life are you being called to complete something, even if it brings up fear and hesitation? Would you be willing to let yourself acknowledge that knowing? Would you be willing to make friends with the unknown in service of following something greater and give yourself the gift of having your process without rushing what comes next?
I know easier said than done, most likely, and you can start by asking these questions and then breathing into your body, and coming into a connection with yourself and the universe to start to support that clarity. I have so much to say on ways to support yourself through a transition and I’ll leave it at this for now :).
I’d love to hear if this resonates for you, and what speaks to you from my sharing for your own life! Feel free to email me back.
For now, with so much love and care,